Free Phrases

terramantra:

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.

4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.

6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.

7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.

9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.

10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

OMG

qwear:

The Fourth of July is coming up, meaning it’s time to celebrate the values America may or may not be built on. But I mean, if we’re going to create change, we may as well do it in style. People will be way more likely to listen to you when you’re wearing your new pair of sexy red glasses.

…

I’m not one to freak out over clothes BUT SWEET JESUS I AM FREAKIN OUT

clos3tcas3:

queerandpheasantstranger:

okay seriously u guise it is truth time

i call myself a femme

and i fucking adore tumblr femmes and all the fucking gorgeous hair/makeup/clothes/shoes/vintagey crap

like you folks are fucking fierce as shit and i love you

but for fucks sake people i am so lazy 

you’re lucky if i brush my teeth

so i confess that my femme is a grungy femme

in the like literally-not-showered-in-days grungy

rather than the carefully-cultivated-crusty-punk grungy

i’m calling for other lazy-ass grungy femmes to come out of the closet

rejoice in our smudged eye makeup (you know how it’s like not in a good sexy way, but like a oh-my-god-one-eye-has-black-mold-growing-out-of-it way)

and prickly legs and armpits and whatever else we shave when we feel like it

and chipped, dirty fingernails

and greasy hair with fading dyejobs

for those of us who use cheap perfume and deodorant instead of showering or doing laundry

for those of us who eat hot wings that stain our lips and call it makeup

for those of us who live in pajamas and pile our hair into buns instead of picking up a brush or finding clean underwear

for those of us who let our pubes grow free not because we’re being revolutionary vulva warriorzz but because we’re not that fucking flexible okay

for those of us with REAL GODDAMN BEDHEAD 

I SAY WE UNITE

DISGUSTING, LAZY-ASS FEMMES 4 LYFE

TOGETHER IN SMELLY, GREASY, PRICKLY GLORY

TONIGHT WE RIDE

…

or not

because hey

we’re fucking lazy

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes

OMG this is my life
Only not because my hair makes me look like a pre-pubescent skater boy
and I dress like a dude