2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
The Fourth of July is coming up, meaning it’s time to celebrate the values America may or may not be built on. But I mean, if we’re going to create change, we may as well do it in style. People will be way more likely to listen to you when you’re wearing your new pair of sexy red glasses.
I’m not one to freak out over clothes BUT SWEET JESUS I AM FREAKIN OUT
The Vampire Diaries: "WTF why didn't you TELL ME about the VAMPIRES THAT APPARENTLY DIRECTLY AFFECT MY LIFE" "I was trying to PROTECT YOU" "THAT WASN'T YOUR CALL TO MAKE" "I know I'm sorry never again pinky promise"
Alaric was suddenly an interesting character (or at least his body was) and then stuff happened that I didn’t REALLY pay attention to because tumblr and my ADD meds wore off so I was a little bit confused but then DANCING
THIS IS THE MOST WELL-FUNDED RURAL PUBLIC SCHOOL IN VIRGINIA
- but I digress:
ANYWAYYY then Matt wasn’t compelled which I missed last episode because re: ADD meds are not a forever deal
Matt is boring, boo Matt, Caroline deserves someone a bit less wonderbread than lame-o MATT
But oo yay sixties clothes
Bonnie is gonna kill herself for Elena - important plot-point
Jeremy is going to mope around like a mopey mopes-a-lot, not much new there
AND THEN ELENA WAS WEARING COOL CLOTHES AND THEN SHE WAS DANCING WITH DAMON AND SHE WAS GIGGLY AND HE WAS HANDSOME AND ALSO FUNNY AND OMG OMG OMG OMG
AND THEN SHit happened and Stefan was lame as per usual and Bonnie was dead but then she wasn’t dead and oh hey a commercial for at&t mifi